Malibu Is Red and I’m Blue

With just two weeks to go before the election, I’m starting to get a little pushy with my politics. Yeah, baby… Gettin’ up in everybody’s grill with my pro-Obama liberal white boy thang. Check this out: I have an Obama t-shirt and I’ve even worn it once! And my “Worst President Ever” bumper sticker is now faded from years of exposure to the California sun.

As a democrat and a hopeless cynic, it’s not always easy living in a town overrun with neocon rednecks. Take this weekend for example. Leaving my son’s soccer game, I spotted a PT Cruiser covered with bumper stickers, one of which proclaimed, “War never solved anything except for ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism.” Wow. I’m glad we got that cleared up! I stared at the thing in mute disgust, all the while marveling at how perfectly suited the bumpersticker is to today’s neocon thug mentality. Why is it that today’s conservatives (OK, let’s just lump them in with rednecks for simplicity) feel the need to hit you over the head with caveman logic rather than entreat discussion? And whatever happened to subtlety? I’m old enough to remember when being a conservative meant that you were willing to listen to opposing views and debate them, rather than the bludgeon you with the neolithic-neocon-talking-points approach that is now pandemic in America.

Meanwhile back in the parking lot, I finally just shrugged it off and got in my car, opting not to to wait for the PT’s owner to show up, even though I was curious as hell to see who was driving this eyesore anyway.

This is just to point out that Malibu, despite its laid-back atmosphere and celebrity-infested populace, is in reality a pretty Republican hangout lately, and this little Rush Limbaugh-mobile was in no way out of place here. The same car featured another brilliant epigram: “Got too much money? Elect a Democrat.”  Har har.  Real knee-slapper, that one. Like we’ve all just been rolling in dough under Bush. I wonder if the owner feels that way because he/she is just angry at having to drive a piece of sh*t Chrysler? I mean, why wasn’t this guy the proud owner of a Hummer H2, overcompensating for his insecurities like the rest of them?

Sadly, the Malibu Republican Headquarters has set up shop in the corner plaza just a few blocks from my home. They’re taking up two suites that were once rented to an insurance agency and a notary public. Somehow, that’s fitting, but I’m too grouchy to explain why right now.

Bring on November 4th!

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